My Thoughts Exactly

 

 

 

 

At what point does thinking become too much? 

is it when the thoughts take you away from the present moment?

or.

 

Maybe it’s when a thought jams its curious finger in an old wound and now we are left to either feel that pain or scramble to numb it. 

 

For me, 

It feels as if I try to balance myself between thinking and jumping onto an abyss of thoughts.  

especially, right now.

 In this quarantine life

 I have felt as if I have had too much time to reflect and no where to hide from it. 

My inner volume has been turned up to max 

and now,

I have to listen.

Sometimes all I can do 

is listen.

 uncertainty about what I want to do and who I want to become has manage to get louder 

but also,

 who I am now and how far I have came, has too.

I have been frustrated and joyful

loving and sad

angry and blissful

desolated and grateful 

about everything and nothing. 

Lately I have gone down these rabbit holes of thought and came out the other side

a little different each time.  

 we have been given more time to be still and think

 Sometimes this has felt like a curse.  

and in others, 

it has helped me maneuver through this unknown experience of being safer at home 

 

a l l    t h e 

 

f u c k i n g 

 

t i m e. 

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